… you can only be who you are meant to be. (Blair Singer)
Take a deep breathe. Relax. And read it again.
You can’t be who you want to be. You can only be who you are meant to be.
There are so many self-called prophets running around this planet proclaiming they’ve found the secret to helping you become what you want to become. Off you go and do this and that, try here, try there but you’re still not who you want to be. You’re chasing goal after goal and none really work out as planned. Some come close, but in the end you’re still not who you want to be.
And the “prophets” tell you to try this way, use affirmations, talk yourself into being who you want to be, you can do it, use the power of the subconscious mind, you can be anything you want they say!
Well I’ve had enough of that crap. And thanks Blair for sending this shock wave into my system that try as I might, I won’t be who I want to be unless it aligns with who I am meant to be. That I might be chasing the wrong goals and that’s why I don’t reach them and not because I’m too dump, too lazy, too whatever. Most of my life I ran around chasing who knows what kind of goals, never really achieving any, so I ended up believing that I can try and get real close, but I won’t be a real success ever, because my past is littered with unachieved goals.
And that’s how I ended up with no goals at all, and didn’t even realize that I have stopped setting goals because I – no let me correct this here right away, not I, my Little Voice – told me I’m useless in whatever I set my mind to and won’t achieve any of those goals anyway, so what’s the point. When I did my first goal setting session with Jayne Johnson (a fabulous clearing coach!) we were supposed to write down 12 goals we had in life. There were about 40 people or so in the room, all writing away feverishly.
I sat and came up with one goal. I figured that if/when I achieve that goal everything else will fall into place. So why bother with other goals. The one goal I had was to build up my franchise (which I had just bought) to a certain level by the end of this year. My logic then was that if I achieved that first of all I’d have enough money and that would sort out a lot of problems and dreams. Why specify something like living in a nice house when that is clearly dependent on achieving that first goal.The other dream I had (let’s talk about the difference of a dream and a goal some other time…) was to be in a loving relationship. Here too I figured that if I built my franchise up to that level I set the goal at I’d meet the right guy along the way. (Sidenote: how could I be more arrogant? -> Me saying HOW these goals are to be achieved? We don’t have to worry about the how, we just have to worry about the what…)
As I sat there watching everybody writing goals like crazy I started to wonder if something is wrong with me, or if they are all are wrong. Fred sat next to me, he ran out of paper. I remember trying to peep over and see what he wrote because I just couldn’t figure out what kind of goals one person could come up with in such high numbers. It started to bother me. So I went up to Jayne to ask her about it. She told me to relax and it’s ok, if that’s the only one that comes up it’s fine. And if I still want to add some it’s also fine.
I went back to my seat and thought a little more and came up with 8 goals. Phew. At least that’s 2/3 of the space there was.
The weird thing is – at that time I had already listened a couple of times to track #6 on Blair’s Little Voice Managament Systems, but I hadn’t listened to it properly. It took me over a year to finally figure out what had been going on with me. I got so disappointed with all the failed goals in my life (and never having had them processed) that I stopped making goals altogether.
At the goal session with Jayne it turned out, after going through a specific process (of getting past the Little Voice), the number 1 goal I originally had, ranked in reality only on 5 in terms of importance. There were in fact 4 other goals that were far more important to achieve than that one. This was a big revelation. Interestingly enough I have achieved 3 out of those 4 by now and the next 2 are the one’s that I am most busy with right now. Goes to show that what we think is the most important goal to achieve right now isn’t always truly the most important one!
So who am I meant to be? Who are you meant to be?
That’s a scary questions. Generally I have found everybody has a HUGE being inside of them wanting to come out. That’s the person they are meant to be but because it is such a mega distance away from who they are right now they are either too afraid or have eaten too much poisoned humble pie to acknowledge they could be that person having such a huge impact on others and the world at large.
Because that’s the next thing I found out, after working for more than 20 years with other people’s dreams and goals, generally this huge being inside of us is all about serving others and impacting others in a big way. Always, without fail. And since we’ve been taught so well to be afraid of mistakes and failure we are sh*t scared to impact too many others because what if we damage them for life. It’s all fine damaging ourselves, even our family, but outside that circle it becomes too big a responsibility and so we put that being into a box, tighten it, and put it safely away, far in the recesses of our brain.
It takes courage to step up and become who you are meant to be. It’s not done with one little step, it’s many little steps. One at a time. It’s ok to stumble along the way. It’s ok to fall back a little. That is the un-poisened, the proper, humble pie, the one that acknowledges the mistakes and let’s them be ok, in us and in others. That’s humble pie teaching us that we can perhaps sometimes learn more from the beggar on the street than the most known guru on earth.
So, let’s take a deep breathe, dive into the unknown sea of potential and find out how to navigate through these waters. Then we have a shot at becoming the master of our fate, the captain of our soul. (Invictus)
For the record: I have no hassles now working goals out. In fact I’ve become obsessed with them, working on them daily, re-adjusting them, re-evaluating them constantly. A goal is not a fixed, immovable point in the future. A goal is a fluid and dancing particle that constantly changes direction – all for the greater good of all.
(PS: If you’d like to go through this particular goal setting process for yourself please send me an e-mail)